A lot of people ask me this, “Oh, why don’t you have a boyfriend?” It’s not like I don’t have a boyfriend because I don’t want one, I do! But it’s pretty complicated. First off, I don’t have a lot of guys friends. Especially in my school, where the guys are too shy and quiet. My ideal guy is someone who is outgoing and fun (but not in a cocky way). If I try to start up a conversation, they giggle and give me one word answers, then turn their backs. And I just sit there like “Ok wth”. In addition to that they’re all basically nerds. They only care about taking APs and studying rather than having fun. And that is definitely not okay with me. Okay, it’s alright to study, I do it too, but not to the extent where you’re antisocial and at the library studying SATs 24/7. If I had to date a freaking 16 year old einstein, I’d pass. I don’t think I would be able to relate with him. Two, guys are dicks. There really is no prince charming out there now. Personally, I think that social media makes everyone so judgmental. Especially on physical appearances. Yeah, it’s pretty for girls to have nice bodies and yada yada. But that doesn’t mean all girls SHOULD be expected to have nice bodies. As long as we’re happy with ourselves, why should we put in tears, sweat, and blood to satisfy someone else? I don’t understand how you can have a real relationship with someone just because you like their appearance. If that’s you, I pity you. Three, I have specific personality standards. I’m not PICKY but if you have specific traits that I don’t like, then I will never find interest in you. As we all know, 99.99% of teen males are immature. I don’t know what runs through their heads but they have absolutely no filter. I hate when guys (and girls) make rude remarks without realizing and then continue to laugh about it. Especially to an adult. You’re 16 years old. What gives you the right to talk down to someone with more knowledge and more experience than you? Have some respect and grow up. When people have no manners or respect, it pisses me off. Just because I don’t want to write too long, I’ll sum up the traits that I like in guys: humorous, masculine, mature but still outgoing, patient, and understanding. P.S. please don’t be touchy because that stuff creeps me out. P.P.S. I don’t like guys, much less people, who curse. It just looks like you can’t control yourself and you have no respect for those around you. Four, the fault is most likely on my part. I have this habit of when a good guy friend and I have a mutual liking for each other, but I don’t realize, and I find out later on, I start to push him away. Even if its something that I really want. This has happened a few times. The worst part is that our friendship falls apart. I feel terrible because I’d rather lose a possibly-temporary boyfriend than a good friend any day. I hate myself for being worried and afraid all the time. Afraid of the future, afraid of people, afraid of pain, afraid of loss…. I just don’t want to risk anything and end up depressed over something I could’ve prevented. It’s funny because I vented all of this to my friend and she nodded the whole time and said at the end, “You keep this up and you’re gonna die a lonely virgin with really ugly hair.” All while nonchalantly eating ice cream. Oh, how she makes me titter. But I still think she’s partially correct. Even the hair part. This reminds me of the time I visited my pharmacist, who my family has been close with before I was born. We had a really long conversation about boys. She said to me, just date. Keep dating until you know what kind of guy really makes you happy. By ‘keep dating’ I don’t mean to date every guy that catches your eye. That just makes you selfish. Having a few genuine relationships are far better than a lot of short, bad ones. Even if you get hurt at the end, that’s the only way to really find out. Then when it’s time, you’ll be sure it’s him. It may seem like you have so much time to figure it out, but time passes quicker than it seems. Remember that. I just stood there like, “Thank you professor dumbledore.” But seriously she said the best advice, plus she gave me free candy. ———————————————- Writing this made me realize a couple of things. - how much I despise our generation. - I don’t have a boyfriend because I’m too shallow-minded - I might die a lonely soul with bad hair - I have to learn to accept myself first before getting into anything. If I don’t accept myself, how am I supposed to have an honest relationship? So basically, the answer to the first question is mixed into this whole text. That is all the venting for now. Bye.
(via pretty-little-lier)
